My
friend Monte Christensen passed away on Oct 25, 2019 after an yearlong
unsuccessful struggle with squamous cell cancer at the age of 51. Although
for the last few years we didn't meet as often, some relationships are such that it leaves you with positive memories even when you realize that the chapter has ended. This is
something I wished to write about him and I want it to be positive, a
celebration of his life, not an obituary. Such an amazing person deserves a few
words.
I met Monte on my first job in the Bay Area in the mid-nineties, California where we both worked for the same company which later on became part of Hewlett Packard through an acquisition. He was a gregarious character; boisterous in spots and quintessentially American but yet with an openness and generosity that drew some people towards him, and maybe by the same token pushed some away from him. I was one of those who felt drawn towards him. He was a smart software developer and later manager who rose to very high professional position in Microsoft; and an even smarter gambler who had mastered the art of beating the casinos in a game called blackjack and also a great poker player as also a connoisseur of certain varieties of alcohol that accompanied his legendary skills in the card-rooms. The roster of mutual friends from those days come flooding to my mind: Steve W, Marc S, Leonard I, Doug, Ranjit and others. Softball and lunchtime running forged bonds that last a lifetime. Softball events were so much fun those times in the great weather of the Bay Area. Monte was the best raconteur of them all… the way he would recount his experiences would be very captivating… how he won poker games in smoky card-rooms in San Jose and caused a Vietnamese guy to go berserk at having lost a lot of money - was told with a lot of emotive dialogs and hand gestures and giggles that would make the whole anecdote come alive for the members of our usual gang.
I
remember my first introduction with Monte and Marc to the beautiful town of
Monterrey a little bit south of the Bay Area. It was a typical guys' night… the venue was an auditorium that may have been gentrified as such with
some creative face-lifting of a warehouse; certainly not swank, but worthy of
putting up a boxing event with a ring(or stage where the fighters engage)
surrounded by a gallery of seats; an evening of boxing starts with
some undercards (meaning junior and up-and-coming boxers going up against each
other and then the final event of the evening is the main 'card' or the match
between two reputed fighters that attract big purses, bettors and spectators).
Not being too much of an expert of boxing myself, I forget the
boxers' names, mostly Latino fighters who looked the part, with some signature
scars and tattoos in abundance.
I
remember the tickets were quite affordable, probably twenty bucks at most for a
ringside seat, maybe the fourth or fifth row from the ring. I remember the
vivid nature of the spectacle; an uppercut dislodging a mouthguard, a little
gore and blood and the back and forth nature of the pugilists going at each
other with a lot of spunk and gumption. While us three, beers in hand were
taking it all in; not a care in the world, before the responsibilities of
taking care of a family, in our twenties and not too much bothered about what
came next in our lives. Those are the moments however where indelible
impressions are conjured and the bonds that go beyond superficiality get casted
with a permanence of friendship, ethos and sentimentality that is not
popularly ascribed to the masculine gender.
One fine
day in the mid-nineties news broke that Monte was headed for an exciting new
job at Microsoft in the Emerald city of Seattle; Microsoft was the holy grail
of software professionals those days and it made the fortunes of many. I
remember having mixed feelings; was very proud and happy for him but also
knowing I was going to miss him. He wasn't my best friend, but he was the kind
of person you felt you could approach were something to come up that you needed
him to share and seek some sage advice; he seemed to have a degree of maturity
to go along with a swashbuckling attitude towards life.
So I
resolved to keep in touch with him even though he was no longer going to be in
the Bay Area. The next thing that I remember was my second trip to Seattle; the
first one was quite forgettable and happened before I ever knew Monte. The
second trip to Seattle was me and Marc S. going up to meet Monte in Seattle and
then from there going up to Vancouver Canada. I remember being really pumped up
about it. Those days you had to save up for such trips, first job and all. I
was still single so fortunately the only thing that came into balance in making
the decision was me and myself.
The
second visit in my life to the Pacific Northwest was quite memorable. For a
wide-eyed young man both Seattle and Vancouver were quite remarkable…
magnificent scenery of white crested Olympic mountains and lush evergreens
everywhere. Vancouver was fascinating; I remember we stayed at the Holiday Inn…
and went around the downtown and the usual sights like Capilano etc. for the
first time. Monte, Marc and I had a great time.
The next
time I met Monte, a year and half had passed by and I had met my wife and no
longer single. The two bedroom apartment where we lived in Santa Clara was
getting cramped… it is funny how when single a room in a two-bedroom flat had
sufficed for me as a more than adequate bachelor pad but after you get married
the need for space multiplies. So before flying home for my wedding I had done
a rather hasty and incredibly messy job of moving all my belongings into a
two-bedroom flat in the same complex! I was looking for greener
pastures and I had outgrown the organization that had given me my first job
opportunity; albeit grateful, I felt the need to grow professionally.
Monte
was back in town to visit friends and had stopped by his old stomping grounds
for lunch; I had started interviewing for other jobs in the Bay Area
and when he asked me what I was doing, I told him that I was looking around. As
luck would have it, he had moved up to a manager role and was looking to fill a
couple of positions in his team and asked me if I was interested. I decided to
take a flier and he was willing to bring me in for an interview. Microsoft
really put out the red carpet for me and my wife - very nice hotel, all
expenses paid trip and some of the sights and sounds of a great city - we both
liked it. Real estate prices were also a great selling point as compared to the
Bay Area which was almost out of reach even then. Microsoft
interviews are no picnic and is a grueling day where one person who doesn't
like your responses could end your day, and the questions were all problem
solving in the field of software or brain teasing puzzles, barring a rare few
softballs to put you at ease; after the hard work I had put in and some ability
to think on my feet, I was able to land the job and probably a vindication of
my friend's faith on me, I put in more than twelve and half good and productive
years in the company, including the initial couple where he was my direct manager.
When he
moved to Capitol Hill on the West Side of Lake Washington and in a rather
bohemian and charming part of the city known for its block parties, I couldn't
see him as often; however we did go to his house for Thanksgiving… we did it at
least several years regularly before that too became a hit or miss. During those
Thanksgiving parties we would reminisce about the Bay Area years; we didn't
make much money during those Bay Area years, but still it was a great life…
full of days of great weather, outdoor activities and exciting places to
explore, people to meet. Not everything was about him and me, but we knew all
the mutual people that we had shared those moments with and so the anecdotes
were very relatable for either of us. Those parties were great fun… it is with
a bittersweet feeling that I recollect the house since I know my primary
connection with it no longer graces this earth, although he is survived by his
wife and two boys in school - his wife is also an impeccable human being
There
is a little balcony he had in his Capitol Hill house which has a spectacular
view of Lake Washington where he had set up his barbecue grill and he would be
grilling all kinds of stuff on it while people were having their drinks and
engaging in small talk while the amazing vista from the hilltop sloped down
towards the water level of the huge landmark Lake Washington and you could see
all the way to the Cascade peaks; and the crisp November northwest
air was interspersed with the happy relaxed banter of friends.
The last
time I saw him was on May 4, 2019. He and his wife Lori had invited
us to their home on Capitol Hill for a party…by that time I had found out he
had cancer; that too in February he had sent me an Instant messenger via the FB
app and I don't use it much…by some serendipity I had found his message while
rummaging quite out of the norm in Messenger and came upon this appalling note
from him. Immediately I responded and expressed the desire to see
him, apologizing for not paying attention to Messenger. Even at that late stage
this amazing person was throwing a party to watch a boxing event from Las
Vegas! Destiny or karma oftentimes has an uncanny knack of
completing a proverbial circle in life… from that day that flits like an
evanescent slide show from Monterrey in the recesses of my mind to a house in
the Seattle suburb of Capitol Hill, the unlikely thread of Boxing brought me to
see my ailing friend for what would be the final rendezvous. I
hadn't seen much of him lately as our lives had drifted apart weighed down by
the responsibilities foisted upon us, and also due to other social and
geographical factors; but my wife and I always had good feelings for Monte and
his wife. He was a good father and husband and their favorite pastime as a
family was snowboarding with their two boys.
In
this final opportunity that I had to interact with Monte, he was a shell of
himself; a tube of some sort was inserted into his neck and he was wearing a
bib… he looked bloated and sickly; gaunt and haggard… the carcinogenic cells
were waging a winning war against this lovely and free-spirited man who had
lived his life with some verve. His wife had quit her work temporarily for a
year to care for him through the vicious cycle of chemotherapies and the
slippery slope of cancer. You could see the strains on the family;
although the two boys were oblivious of the fact that the disembodied buzzards
were circling their dad waiting for his final capitulation. Despite
the backdrop, it was a incongruously festive air with food and drinks and the
boxing card from the MGM in Las Vegas. The boxing under-cards were going on;
people were eating and drinking with gusto … Mexican food was catered from a
restaurant in Kirkland. One would have to assume the analyzing skills of a Poirot to even detect the undercurrent of a family going through this
ordeal, although I felt deep within me the pain of my friend, and hoped against
hope for his recovery. The only clue might have been that Monte never spoke and
instead used an iPad to type his responses which an app then spoke out in a
synthetic voice to the people who asked him questions.
This was
May 4, 2019. I couldn't stay for the final fight on the Boxing event.. I did
manage to stay the first two or three rounds as the heralded Main event of
Canelo Alvarez fighting Daniel Jacobs for the IBF Welterweight championship and
Monte was indulging in the simple pleasures he had remaining in his short time
left. I wished him the very best towards recovery although I didn't convince
myself nor do I think he needed convincing; he just wanted to see his friends
for one of the last times; he had called me over to his house one
more time after that when I couldn't attend because I had a family trip planned
to Banff and Calgary; such is life. I never got to see him again. Farewell my dear amigo, there won't be another like you!
